just keep swimming: 000

Today's Monday Listicles prompt is "how would you spend $1,000?" Because I'm feeling greedy, I've decided to take ten separate chances at that $1,000 instead of simply going with ten things that collectively add up to $1,000. After all, a girl can't be too limited in her imaginary spending habits.

Before I get started, allow me to brag a little. Do you see this fine specimen of a man who rode his bicycle up a freakin' mountain?

Yup, that would be my husband. As supportive as I am of all his exercising, he wishes I were even more supportive; as in get my own bike and join him supportive.

For this reason I would use my imaginary $1,000 to buy this bike.* Unfortunately, I would thoroughly embarrass him when I walk my bike up hills because I am incapable of riding up. He would dutifully pretend he's happy "just spending time with me" but be secretly thankful when I only ride with him once a month.
I could almost completely cover my caffeine addiction for the year by buying myself 273 iced chai tea lattes from Starbucks. That would pay for a drink every day of the week and sometimes on Saturday. (I think that the amount of math I've put into this proves that I am an addict. Hello my name is Marian...)
With that money in hand, I would shop like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I would tell the store that I have $1,000 to spend and leave if they don't fawn all over me: "No, I said I want the fancy t-shirts and jeans!"
An extravagant set of All Clad Stainless Steel cookware would look great proudly displayed on a pot rack in my kitchen. It would continue to hang in my kitchen while I use my $15 Teflon coated pan from Target for every single meal I cook.

Oh wait, I already did that when I got married.
I was hoping $1,000 would be enough for annual passes to Disneyland for my family, but it will only almost pay for four of us. Proof that once again the world frowns on people who over-reproduce.
Considering that my three children have had their way with our kitchen table, a replacement would be nice.
As much as I love standing while eating, chairs seem to complete the look. So with another $1,000 could I please buy chairs to go with my new table? (I really only need five.)

While you're at it, could you just replicate this room in my house?
$1,000 would buy the best fried chicken dinner ever. This money would fund the car ride from Southern, CA to Northern, CA, two night's stay in a hotel near Nappa Valley, and our fancy pants dinner at Ad Hoc by Thomas Kellar. (I could also spend $21 for the big family meal bucket at KFC and pocket the other $979. Six of one...)
I would find out if Bare Naked Ladies would come to my house for a private concert in my backyard and sing "If I Had a Thousand Dollars" to the tune of "If I Had a Million Dollars" because I haven't been able to get that song out of my head since I read this list prompt.
Last but not least, I would do something nice for my children. $1,000 would pay for one summer camp for each of them. I would find something special like Harry Potter camp where my eight year old daughter can train for Dumbledore's Army. You might think Harry Potter camp sounds geeky, but I would argue it is considerably cooler than college Quidditch leagues.