The Chosen One

     When we were little we watched He-Man Masters of the Universe every afternoon and played with the action figures all the time.  One day a brand new department store came to town.  For their grand opening they hosted a contest: create a new He-Man character.

     My brother, sister, and I were all over this.  With the contest sheets in hand we got to work.  I forget what my brother and sister created, but I remember them laughing at me.  I didn't care.  My character rocked and I knew it.

     Ready to win the contest, we marched into the store toting our caricatures on opening day.  Every kid in town, dreaming of the national grand prize, invented characters that littered the entry walls of the store.  The winner would receive: Castle Grayskull, every single Masters of the Universe action figure available, and the winner's character would be marketed and sold.  Second graders don't get that kind of power every day!

    Before you were eligible for such power, you first had to win at the local level.  Around noon, the announcer revealed "The winner of the new He-Man character contest is.... (imaginary drum roll please) Marian.  Please come to the front to collect your prize Marian."  My brother looked at me incredulous.  "No way!"  "How did she win?" my sister asked.  I just smiled all the way to the front desk.

     My smile got even bigger when they handed me my prize:

Suck it brother and sister.  This guy's all mine!

      We went home and immediately replaced our boring home phone with my new awesome He-Man phone.  I sat by that phone and sat and sat and sat answering every single call to our house that day.  I knew they would call me that night revealing I had won the national grand prize.  I would be the chosen one.  So strong was my confidence that I would be the big winner that I kept vigil by my phone for days.

     Unfortunately, I did not win the national grand prize.  Even more unfortunately, my drawing became the property of Meijer corp.  I wish I could share that awesomeness with you.  My character would have solved all He-Man's problems.  My character was the key to peace and harmony in Eternia.  My character was the missing piece of the Masters of the Universe line up.  My character was "Mrs. Skeletor."

A little loving could go a long way with this guy.

By the power of Grayskull, I had the power... for at least one afternoon.

I'm over at Finding the Funny #17.  Join me there to check out some other hilarious stories.

This story was inspired by Kristi over at There's No Time For Pants! who is super funny.  She nicknamed her littlest guy "Skeletor", which reminded me of this.  Check her out and tell her I sent you.