Dear Great Aunt Betty

Because you loved your married childless life, you told me all the time to not have children.

"Travel" you said.

Blarney Castle - Ireland

"Enjoy life" you said.

para sailing - Ka'anapali, HI

"Have fun" you said.

I took most of your advice.

I'm answering a writing prompt from Mel at According to Mags and Michelle at Old Dog New Tits
"Tell us in 57 words or less the best advice you have ever received
from someone older than you or that you admire."

Please help a somewhat disobedient great niece out by clicking on the banner below.

The Ruiners

     I have this little quirk that I'll blame on growing up as a twin in a small house.  My sister and I shared everything: bed, clothes, toys, room.  Because of this, I developed a Gollum-like sense of possession where anything that I didn't have to share with my twin (and even some things I did) became my precious.  This quirk is one of the more difficult things I deal with as a parent.  My kids have seemingly no sense of boundaries and they care very little about "stuff."  The rule appears to be: if they can reach it, they can have it.

     I often find myself perusing a site called Sh*t My Kids Ruined.  I love this place because it reassures me.

1. Things could be worse.

2. I am not the only one raising crazy destructive monsters. 

My kids' "I can take what I want" attitude coupled with the fact that they don't care if something gets ruined drives me crazy!  I live with three little ruiners and I am fighting a battle just to get my kids to take care of stuff.  Here is a list of all the things I personally have posted on the Sh*t My Kids Ruined Facebook Page.  Any one item on my list doesn't seem so bad, but as a collective...

You've heard the expression "Idle hands are the devil's workshop" right?  Ball gets especially destructive when bored.  One morning I put Ball in time out.  I went upstairs to change the laundry (less than 5 minutes), came downstairs, and saw this: 

Body art - the least bothersome art.

And this:

Not such a bright idea

She's not so great at "time outs."  Ball had gotten up from the step she was sitting on, went to the kitchen counter, found a pen, and decided to spice things up a little.

Dude was playing with Legos and the container that holds his Legos was laying on the floor.  Such an invitation was irrisistable to Ball.  She turned it upside down, stepped up on it, and commenced jumping.  Isn't that what you would do?

Boredom - making people do stupid things since 1600.

One morning while preparing breakfast Ball found two things sitting on the counter that she felt needed to get together; a  McDonald's Happy Meal toy and our camping ipod speaker.  That toy was exactly the right size to fit in the hole and not come out.  Doh!

Who needs a shape sorter?

This is a small but representative sample of our kitchen table.  All three kids have taken pot shots at it giving it that shabby chic look.  Ok, it just looks shabby.  Our table is the reason none of the grandkids are allowed to sit at either grandparents' tables.

Forks are for eating?  I thought they were for carving.

Lastly, while helping my then 5 yo with her homework, her 3 yo brother took a marker off the table and "drew me a map". 

This took less than 2 minutes.

This took even less time.

I know this looks way worse than the table above, but every bit of marker came off thanks to Crayola's detailed instructions for how to remove the stain.  Today the chairs look great.  Whew!

     Often I wonder if my kids are just naturally destructive.  Other times I wonder if this is just part of having three kids.  After all, I'm not capable of watching all of them all the time.  Whatever the reason, have no fear.  I won't be bringing my kids over to you house anytime soon; at least not until they are "civilized".

What have your kids ruined?  I know I'm not totally alone here.

Real Housework

     I had big plans for Spring Break; two days with nothing but fun on the agenda.  That's right, Spring Cleaning.  It was time for my kids to learn about real housework.  Blondie has had life pretty easy, Dude is perfectly capable of handling everything on my  list, and it's never too young for Ball to learn some valuable life skills.

     Surprisingly, my plan was met with little resistance and mild enthusiasm.  Here is my kids' spin on cleaning.  Maybe you can use these selling points on your own minions, er I mean children.

     Blondie thinks cleaning sucks and using cleaning products is hazardous to your health.  In spite of her wonderfully positive attitude, at the end of two days she did everything that was asked of her and even begrudgingly admitted that it was nice to be able to see her bedroom floor and find books on her bookshelves.
    
     Ball loves vacuuming.  She told me this about five times while ramming the vacuum into her bedroom furniture.  She also loves washing walls.  More accurately, she loves soaking her arms in the warm soapy (kinda dirty) water and working just long enough to justify putting her rag, (arms) back in the water.  Ball took great pride in her work and added her smile to all her assigned tasks.

Ball's method for washing walls

     Dude likened the Windex bottle to a gun and volunteered to clean every window and mirror in my house.   He also thinks the long plastic tube on the vacuum cleaner with the dust attachment is like a ninja spear and he ferociously attacked all our dust bunnies.

     Spring Cleaning was finished Thursday.  Saturday at dinner Dude pulled me away from the table to show me something very important!  He lead me to our banister and pointed to it; a minuscule amount of dust.  We could only go back to the table after I promised to tackle this evil enemy later.

     In all  of this I was trying to teach my kids important lessons.  Meanwhile I probably learned the most valuable one: be careful when you teach a child with obsessive tendencies about cleaning.  For Dude I either equipped him with wonderful tools or set him up for complete mental breakdown.  Only time will tell.